Jellyfish vs. Giraffes: Science Claims Play Loose on Facts!?!?

The turritopsis nutricula, a species of jellyfish indigenous mainly to the Ocean, is reported by “Science” to be the only species truly capable of immortal life:

Don't let the tentacles of doom fool you, if it doesn't have a black tongue and long neck, it probably isn't hazardous to your health.*

Through a process called transdifferentiation, this particular jellyfish can transform every cell in its body until it reverts back to a polyp stage, starting its life cycle anew time and time again. While this sounds fascinating, one thing “Science” has overlooked is that immortal life among the animal kingdom is nothing new. Giraffes are known to hibernate during periods of death, only to awaken refreshed and ready to inflict more carnage upon the world. Unlike the turritopsis nutricula, giraffes do not achieve this immortality through transdifferentiation, but through a process of trampling small, defenseless wheelchair-bound children, crushing their skulls and eating their brains. The verdict is still out on which method is more effective.

Photograph of immortal giraffe. Interestingly, the word "zombie" actually comes from the ancient Olmec word for giraffe, which was "zombie"**

*for legal reasons it is advised you don’t follow this advice

**citation needed

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One Response to “Jellyfish vs. Giraffes: Science Claims Play Loose on Facts!?!?”

  1. Never trusted giraffes,to bloody serene.

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